Tips for Choosing Your First Sex Toy: A Beginner’s Guide

Curious, excited, maybe a little nervous? You’re not alone! Choosing your first sex toys can feel like stepping into a world of endless possibilities—thrilling, but also a bit overwhelming. Whether you’re looking to spice up solo time, explore new sensations, or simply add a little more fun to your intimate moments, picking the right toy can be a game-changer. So, let’s take the mystery out of it and help you find the perfect match for your pleasure journey.

Do I need a sex toy or not?

Great question! The short answer is no, you don’t need a sex toy—but you might want one! Sex toys are not replacements for human connection or intimacy: sex toys play a role as a tool that adds extra excitement and pleasure to your sexual experiences with yourself or others. If you’re interested in discovering new sensations and experiences, adding a sex toy to your self-care routine could be a wonderful way to enhance pleasure and exploration. 

This guide will help you choose your first sex toy, offering expert insights and professional advice to ensure you make a well-informed decision.

Step one: Put yourself first.

Before going online or running to the nearest adult store, take a moment and think about why you want to buy sex toys and what your expectations are. Consider what excites you, the types of sensations you enjoy, and whether you’ll use the toy solo, with a partner, or both. Being honest with yourself about your preferences and goals will guide you to the perfect choice. 

“If you don’t know what type of stimulation you like, you can experiment with your hands or a less expensive sex toy and try out nipples, clitoral, vaginal, prostate, penis, or anal stimulation to get an idea of what you find pleasurable,” says Sophia Turner, ALMFT, a relationship and sex therapist at The Center for Modern Relationships.

After you’ve taken some time to explore your preferences, Turner suggests reflecting on these questions:

• Do I prefer internal or external stimulation?
• Do I enjoy vibration, rotation, or thrusting?
• How sensitive are my erogenous zones that are being stimulated?

This isn’t a comprehensive list, but it’ll give you a good starting point to understand your preferences and narrow down your options.

Step two: Get to know your sex toys.

Now that you have a clearer idea of your wants and desires, it’s time to explore the options available. You don’t need to be an expert or do extensive research, but having a basic understanding can help you make a well-informed choice.

Some of the most popular types of sex toys include:

Dildos: Dildos are the original go-to when it comes to sex toys, offering a wide range of shapes, sizes, and materials to suit different preferences. Perfect for both vaginal and anal penetration, they’re ideal for those who enjoy a sense of fullness. Some dildos are designed with realistic details like textured veins and lifelike shapes, while others feature more creative or abstract designs. Whether you’re using one solo or with a harness for partnered play, dildos can add versatility and excitement to your experience.

Anal toys: Anal toys, such as butt plugs and anal beads, are specifically designed to provide anal stimulation. They come in a wide range of shapes and sizes to suit different comfort levels and experiences. Options include vibrating and non-vibrating versions, and some even offer temperature-play features for added sensation. Turner recommends, “Start with smaller toys and gradually progress by using an anal training set as your body becomes comfortable with larger sizes.” Intimo Toys has a collection of anal toy including: Beads and Balls, Douches, and Enemas, Plugs, and Probes, etc.

Cock rings: Cock rings apply pressure to the blood flow around the penis, which can help maintain a stronger and longer-lasting erection. The simplest cock rings are made of flexible silicone and can be stretched around the base of the penis. Some designs also feature small vibrators for added stimulation for both partners.

There are so many toys out there that we didn’t cover above, including prostate massagers, masturbation sleeves, remote-controlled vibrators for long-distance play, pussy pumps, nipple clamps, kegel exercisers, and so much more. But this list should give you a general idea of what’s available. 

Step Three: Use These Guidelines to Make Your Final Decision

Now that we’re at the stage where you can start shopping, it’s important to remember that choosing a sex toy is more than just picking the first one that catches your eye—though, if you’re experienced and already know your preferences, that could work. Purchasing your first sex toy is a personal. Intimate decision that will impact how you view pleasure and sex toys for years to come. Below, we’ve outlined some helpful guidelines (with input from experts) to assist you in making an informed choice.

Materials and Safety

When selecting something that will be in or near your most sensitive areas, the material is the first thing to consider. It’s essential to ensure that the toy is made from body-safe, non-toxic materials.

“Sex toys are largely unregulated, meaning there are no laws dictating what materials can or can’t be used,” explains Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., a certified sexologist and lead researcher for Women’s Health Interactive. “Unfortunately, this lack of oversight means that some unsafe toys may pose a risk of irritation, inflammation, or infection.”

To protect your safety, Melancon recommends choosing sex toys made from body-safe materials such as medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass. These materials are non-porous, easy to clean, and hypoallergenic.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Avoid porous materials like jelly or gel, which can harbor bacteria and are difficult to clean. They can also be toxic and unsafe. Melancon also advises steering clear of latex, phthalates, and silicone “blends” or “silicone-like” materials, as they might not be body-safe.
• Non-toxic doesn’t mean safe: While materials like rubber, vinyl, PVC, TPE, TPR, elastomer, and Cyberskin are non-toxic, they can’t be properly sanitized and may lead to infections due to their porous nature. If you experience itching, burning, or discomfort, stop using the toy immediately, says Melancon.
• Be cautious with crystal toys: According to Lilithfoxx, a certified sexologist and inclusivity consultant, natural and semi-precious stones (like jade eggs or crystal dildos) have gained popularity. However, they may contain impurities or natural flaws that can cause injury. “Stones like jade are soft and porous, which makes cleaning difficult and can harbor bacteria,” warns Lilithfoxx. “Quartz is harder and less porous, making it safer.”
• Look for toys made from medical-grade silicone, ABS (hard) plastic, stainless steel, anodized aluminum, ceramic, or borosilicate glass. “Some cheaper sex toys claiming to be silicone often contain other materials,” Melancon notes. “That’s why it’s important to buy from reputable brands.” Be cautious of anonymous sellers on platforms like eBay.
• Check reviews: Melancon recommends reading reviews before purchasing. “Sex toy reviews are your friend! Look for reviews from real users, not just overly positive ones, as they are often marketing gimmicks.”

Cleaning and Storing Your Sex Toys

Material safety doesn’t stop at the toy itself—proper cleaning and storage are just as crucial. “Always clean your toys before storing them, as leaving them dirty can lead to bacterial growth and damage,” advises Lilithfoxx. “Use sex toy storage bags or boxes to keep your toys free from dust and contaminants. Make sure the storage material is breathable to avoid moisture buildup. If you don’t have a dedicated bag, a clean, dry cloth bag will work.”

Here are some cleaning tips based on the material:

• Silicone: Wash with soap and water or a toy cleaner made for silicone. You can also boil it for five minutes to sanitize (if it’s not motorized or battery-operated).
• Plastic: Clean with soap and water.
• Glass: Wash with soap and water. Pyrex toys are dishwasher-safe on the top rack (do NOT use Windex!).
• Stainless steel: Wash with soap and water and boil for five minutes. Let it cool before handling to avoid burns.
• Porous materials: Clean with soap and water, but note that these can’t be fully sanitized due to their porous nature.

By keeping these tips in mind, you can ensure that you’re making a safe, informed decision when purchasing and caring for your first sex toy.

Final Thoughts

Choosing your first sex toy is an exciting and personal journey, and by following the tips and guidelines we’ve shared, you can approach the process with confidence and clarity. Whether you’re looking to enhance solo play, explore new sensations with a partner, or simply add more fun to your intimate moments, there’s a wide world of toys to discover. Remember, the right choice will depend on your unique preferences, comfort levels, and desires, so take your time to explore and experiment.

When shopping, always prioritize safety by selecting high-quality, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass. Make sure to clean and store your toys properly to keep them in the best condition. Brands like Intimo Toys offer a wide selection of high-quality, body-safe products designed to enhance pleasure, so you can feel secure knowing you’re choosing something safe and effective.

Above all, remember that this is your experience. There’s no right or wrong way to explore your desires—just take it at your own pace, and enjoy the process of discovering what brings you pleasure.

Happy exploring!